Recently, a group of us started a program called Fiat 90 in which we praise the Lord body, mind and soul by implementing holy and healthy habits, removing distractions and spending more time with God in prayer.
One of the recommended actions that helps us paid the Lord with our minds is to eliminate gossip. This is something that I’ve worked very hard to do over the course of my life, but I still feel vulnerable in this area. After I gave up gossip years ago, I would still vent to my husband when I felt someone had wronged me. Since starting Fiat 90, and in reading Scripture and praying about it, I realize that Jesus is the only one to whom I should ever air my grievances. He understands and loves me and venting to Jesus does not lead me into the sin of gossip.
Why do we have the desire to gossip? Saying unkind things about someone hurts all parties involved — especially the person gossiping because it opens the door for the evil one to work in other ways. We are called to love, to act in love, to be loving and anything outside of love is not of God.
When I think back to times when I gossiped, it felt unhealthy, and even if I didn’t initiate it, jumping in felt wrong, but it was hard to stop! The Holy Spirit worked in my heart about this to the point where I had to remove a couple of friends from my life; friendship based on gossip is not real friendship after all.
I always found it difficult to get out of a gossip conversation as I didn’t want to be unkind to the gossiper. Now, when someone begins to gossip in my presence, my main objective is to stop it by saying something good about that person or to physically leave the situation. I’m even courageous enough now to admonish that person, out of love for them, as they might not know it’s gossip, that it’s a sin, and that it makes others uncomfortable —not to mention how it disrespects the person being discussed. So I’ve started using the phrase, “I can’t comment on that” and I immediately change the subject.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2488-89) says this about gossip:
The right to the communication of the truth is not unconditional. Everyone must conform his life to the gospel precept of fraternal love. This requires us in concrete situations to judge whether or not it is appropriate to reveal the truth to someone who asks for it.
Charity and respect for the truth should dictate the response to every request for information or communication. The good and safety of others, respect for privacy, and the common good are sufficient reasons for being silent about what ought not be known or for making use of a discreet language. The duty to avoid scandal often commands strict discretion. No one is bound to reveal the truth to someone who does not have the right to know it.
It is no coincidence that my bible study program recently had a lesson about gossip and wow, it really highlights the evil in gossip. From Psalm 42:6-10, “My enemies say bad things against me; When will he die and his name be forgotten? When someone comes to visit me, he speaks without sincerity. His heart stores up malice; when he leaves, he gossips. All those who hate me whisper together against me; they imagine the worst about me.”
One of the important lessons I’ve learned from reading the lives of the saints is twofold: talk less and give people their privacy. We are called to love God and love neighbor and anything outside of that is foddor for the evil one.
St. Padre Pio said, “When you gossip about a person it means that you have removed the person from your heart. But be aware, when you remove a man from your heart, Jesus also goes away from your heart with that man.”
So let us lift our hearts together to give Jesus our concerns, our hurts, our struggles with others rather than risk our souls, and the souls of our neighbors, with idle gossip.